Retiring from Driving: A Kinder Way to Give Up the Keys?

Written by Judy Bortman

Part 2 of 2.

Retirement is a major life decision that arrives after years of preparation and calculations. It's a milestone that we know will arrive someday. Most likely substantial thought has gone into the financial aspects of retirement.

I'd imagine that less time is spent pondering how retirement will change our daily routines and ingrained habits. Just as a senior spends considerable time thinking, planning and discussing retirement from work, shouldn't he do the same when it comes to driving?

Semantics can help re-tune a senior's mindset and transform a confrontational act of surrendering the keys to a conscious, planned process of "retiring" from driving.

If I were a senior citizen approaching the time when it was no longer safe to drive, I'd feel traumatized if I were suddenly told that the keys to my car were being taken away and I was being given a lifetime driving "time out."

Rather, if family members had started a dialogue some years before about the day when I need to modify, cut back and eventually stop driving, I'd find the transition more palatable because it was gradual, rather than abrupt.

"Retiring" is a relatable concept and a kinder-gentler way to plan for the day when it's time to relinquish the keys. It sounds like a planned, logical process with a goal in sight rather than the single, abrupt act of taking away the keys and stripping a senior of their freedom to come and go at will.

Making change is never easy, especially for seniors. However, fine-tuning our vocabulary, having candid conversations and spending time to find transit options can ease the transition from motorist to passenger.

Like the proverbial elephant in the room, giving up the keys is a large issue for seniors that's not going away and can't be ignored.

According to AARP, members of the Baby Boom generation will be turning 65 at a rate of 8,000 a day until 2030. Soon one in four drivers will be over 65. Many seniors drive for years beyond that benchmark; our driver's licenses don't have an expiration date. Are seniors that you know starting to show signs that they're not fit to drive?

Active and agile seniors have told me that they remain on the road by adjusting their driving to their abilities and their comfort zone. They prefer to navigate on local streets, during non-rush hour times and primarily during daylight hours.

While there are many road-savvy seniors, some wait too long to stop driving. During my commute, I occasionally see a Silver Alert message on the electronic billboard along Route 287, identifying the car of a senior driver who's "gone missing.

Silver Alerts broadcast information about missing persons, especially seniors, to aid in their return.

About 6 in 10 dementia victims wander at least once. According to the Alzheimer's Association, if they are not found within 24 hours, up to half of wandering seniors with dementia suffer serious injury or death.

Just as we're sometimes at a loss as to where we put the car keys or joke about having a "senior moment" because we forget what we were about to say, seniors can mentally "go missing" while driving.

They forget where they are, where they’re headed or why. Their family and friends are concerned when they don't arrive at their destination in a timely manner and anxiously await word that their car has been sighted. Hopefully the senior motorist is found and gets home safely.

When a behind the wheel "walkabout" occurs, a huge highway billboard is most likely not the first sign that it's time to give up the keys. Likely, a senior’s memory has been slipping before the Silver Alert incident and there have been signs that a senior driver is no longer fit to be behind the wheel.

It's never too soon to monitor the behind the wheel habits of a senior in your life by regularly checking their driving. If you observe these common warning signs, it’s time to start the dialogue about giving up the keys:

• Having two or more traffic tickets, collisions, fender-benders or "near-misses" in the past two years may result from diminishing skills, depth perception or reaction time.
• Confusing the gas and brake pedals or having difficulty working them may be a sign of waning leg strength.
• Ignoring or missing stop signs and traffic signals means the driver may not spot the signs in a crowded or moving visual field.
• Weaving, straddling the lanes, signaling incorrectly and not checking mirrors or blind spots can signal diminishing driving ability.
• Getting lost or disoriented easily, even in familiar places can indicate memory problems. 

Getting advice from the senior's physician can help determine when it's time to give up the keys.

• A number of groups and organization have helpful senior driving information:
• AAA, long a resource for drivers, has a resource-rich website dedicated to senior driving that can help seniors, their families and friends address age-related driving transitions.
• AARP also offers senior driving suggestions. Their Smart Driver™ Course is a refresher for drivers age 50 and older and helps by providing skills and tools to drive safely, thus adding to the time they remain independent.
• A website called Talk Early Talk Often has suggestions on how to begin and evolve a "giving up the keys" dialogue. The key is for seniors to take steps to transition gradually and maintain as much freedom and control of their life as possible like the other aspects of retirement.

Start today to help a senior you know face the music and gracefully give up the keys by "retiring" from driving. Sooner or later, we'll all need to move over to the passenger seat.

As Ruby and the Romantics reminded us so melodically in their 1963 hit song, Our Day Will Come.